Conversations with myself – #9 Friendship

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” – Jim Morrison.

I have a lot of friends.
Friends I’m very happy with!
Friends I worked hard for to get them and even harder to keep them!

Yeah, but are they true friends?

Based on the quote and the amount of shit they accept from me?
I’d say they are!

Nice!
But before your current status.
Before you got all these awesome friends…
What was your definition of a true friend?
Or a friend in general?

To me, a friend was and still is, someone who could just accept me.
Someone who wouldn’t mind talking to me and showed some true interest.
In both my good and bad moments.

And did they?

Eventually, I found some friends who did.
Who shared my crazy sense of humor and didn’t mind being around me.
Although… Sometimes during school… It looked different to others around us…

But did you mind?
I mean… There are always those, who want to be the same one around friends as well as others.
But not you?

At first I did…
But I learned fast enough that you can’t keep the same mask towards your friends and “enemies”.

Why call them enemies?
Aren’t they just people who don’t share your interests?

Well… They are…
But…

No “But’s” on this one!
Those who are not your friends, are just people.
Nothing more and nothing less!
And in the slim chance that they might become friends, it’s only normal that they can feel cared about from the very beginning.
And that starts with whatever you do to them, before the friendship starts.
You didn’t allow others to be your friends in the beginning, so you scared them off.
And once they tried to get closer to you, by being genuinely nice to you…
You didn’t trust it, and pushed them away without even THINKING!
So you of all should know how important it is to show the signs of a good friendship, before even starting one.

Yeah, I know.
You do have a fair point there…
Which is why I changed myself, and how I am around others.
Both those I call my friends as any other out there.
The only difference being that I show true compassion to those I call my friends.
Because they know that they can ask me anything, without having to worry about what I’m going to say.

But do they know that?
And if they know that, do they use that bit of information and talk to you out of free will?

Not always…
Kind of depends on their situation…
I’m known for my… “special” way of helping others…
I manage to stomp them even further in the ground then they are.
Just so I can help them up again and a little further.
I want them to see, that it can always be worse than it really is.
Just so that next time, they can see for themselves.

I’m not following you anymore.
What does that have to do with your current definition of friendship?

Now, when I’m looking back to how I’ve been and how I am with my friends.
My current definition of a true friend is as follows:

“Someone who can show you both the darkness and the light on the path ahead. And is not afraid to guide you through it. Knowing that it might end the friendship you had when you both started on that journey.”

That’s some food for thought, right there…